Wednesday, 23 November 2011


-I like the style that she used in this story, the way she started the story and how she express the charcters concern towards his friend. Besides. the style that she used is quite easy for the reader to understand the story. Beside I also like the way she used the word “cha” because it shows the culture of the characters. More over, the way she include other information which happened in the past is quite good.

Suspension of disbelief
-The way she writes is quite clear and easy for the reader to understand what is happening because the setting is real and the character’s behaviors are something which anyone would react when they are in such situation.

Things need to be improve
-In my opinion, I think may be she can improve on the language of her writing, She can improve on the spelling, use more complex sentences and vocabulary to make the context looks rich which can improve the quality of her writing.
Quality of writing

-The quality of the writing also can be improve is she can use more figurative language. It will leave more effect on the readers.
Descriptive passage from your story
As preeti stepped into the small wooden dusty room , her hands started to shake, tears fell down from her eyes like river. She stares at the room with her disappointed eyes. The room was far smaller than her room. A grey broken cupboard just located few steps from where Preeti was standing. The windows were covered in mud as if it was not been cleaned for ages. She walked slowly towards the bed as she noticed that there were spider webs around the bed so she decided to just rest herself on the brown cheap tiles. She thought, everything seems to be gloomy now, yet she has to accept the reality that this is how she has to live the rest of her life now. Suddenly, preeti’s mother in law shouted in anger “ preeti! Where are you!”. Preeti wiped her tears and hurrily ran towards the door in a speed of light in her heavy red bridal Saree. "clean the dishes now!" she said with a serious expression on her face. Preeti stood numbly and stared at her mother in law. she was suprised. she dint know how she was supposed to react towards it as she just ask her mother in law permission to change her clothes before she can start washing them.

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

critic on "nothing is true"

-i like the way she presented her ideas and how she trid to portray the way she pictured a fight between a girl and her boyfriend.

- i like the way she used the word " sayang" which shows nativisation.
-the wrong use of punctuation marks, perhaps she did not double checked before posting it

however, things need to be improved is grammar mistakes such as singular and plural mistakes and sopme sentence are not in a proper structure

-use of unnecessary adjectives such as emotionally

- may be she can describe more about the setting.

"nothing is true"

Dialogue practice

“I never want to see you again!” she said in her rough voice while pointed her finger to the man who wearing black jacket and holding a blue umbrella.

“What happened my dear?” Abdullah said as his face turned numb and his eyes looks confused, he steps towards Preeti who is wiping away her tears with her white cotton flowery handkerchief.

“I just got a call from your doctor this evening, She said as she cried even louder, “he told me that your next treatment for chemotherapy is tomorrow” preeti walk towards Abdullah , who is standing at the corner of the road and trying to avoid his eyes from preeti.

“Watch out!” Abdullah ran towards preeti in a speed of light and push her aside as he sees a blue Mercedes is coming towards preeti who is standing at the middle of the road of Jalan Cempaka which is 3 miles from Abdullah’s small cottage. “I was scared to tell you” Abdullah burst into tears and wipe his nose with his blue shirt. “I thought you would not be able to accept the truth” he said as his tears started to falls on his cheeks.

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

character and setting

name : Preeti
- tall and slim
- short hair
- fair skin
- very rich
-like to wear fashionable clothes
-does not know how to do household
-not very religious

Preeti ,age 20 years old. A daughter of the owner of one of the biggest textile industry in Malaysia. her appearance will always become an attraction for people. She is 5'6 tall with slim body. Short dyed hair , fair skin, Brown eyes and sharp nose. She wears spectacles, which she changes every month. She is stubborn and rebellion. Her mother passed away because of breast cancer when she was 6 years old. Since then, The only person she listen to is her grandmother. Her father got married to another woman who did not really accepted Preeti as her own daughter. Though she dint have any step brother and sister yet she was still being neglected. Preeti always look happy from her face yet in her heart she was going through a lot of pain. Perhaps that was the reason she became rebellion. Most of the time, she will spend her time with her best friend jay, another person who closed to preeti after her grandmother. she likes to hang out with her friends and she is an alcoholic.however, She is very ambitious. She always dream to become one of the famous model in the world. She always try to convince her grandmother and father so that she can join modeling industry yet they will strictly ask her to forget about this dream and concentrate on learning household chores.

Setting A : Preeti’s house
-located at titiwangsa , kuala lumpur
-Three storey bungalow
-a big 7 feet deep swimming pool inside the house
-expensive and imported furniture
-has 10 huge rooms, each included with Jacuzzi
- big and fancy crystal chandelier in the middle of the living room.

Setting B : a terrace house
- One storey house
- 2 rooms as big as store room
- One small living room
- One washroom
- Old furniture

Setting C : modeling industry
-Andrew models, Kuala lumpur

Preeti’s house is located at the titiwangsa’s housing estate in kuala lumpur, where the properties are worth more than 3 millions. Her house was one of the big bungalow house among the other huge houses. her father bought all her house furniture from Italy during his business trip few years back. A 7 feet deep swimming pool is build just beside the living room. A big glass wall divided the swimming pool and the living room. A big show case is placed at the right side of the 60’ Samsung television. The show case is decorated with various types of expensive crystal wine glasses. A magnificent crystal chandelier is placed right middle of the living room. Preeti’s room was at the third storey. Her room’s wall paint is rather simple than the rest of the house which is white in color.

Settting B : preeti’s in laws house is just a terrace house. the house is not attractive as the paint of the house is fading from outside and inside. the house only has 2 rooms which are as big as store rooms only. Furthermore, the living room of the house was as big as to fit one 3 sitter wooden sofa and Tv. The house furniture is rather old and broken. Some of the cupboard’s door are unscrewed and an old calendar is pasted on the cupboard door.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

hyperlink poetry project

Question I answered,
To untie braid of feelings
Says me to the fish
Don’t seek comfort in green trees
When you belong to the sea
(zainab A129231)

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Melancholy feelings I left behind
Without any fear of regret I stand
On a highway like bougainvilleas and hibiscus
Rhythms of freedom I utter
Complicated math that ran inside my mind
Like algebra and arithmetic
I’m glad I’m done with the trauma.

(c) Zainab bt ibrahim 2011. All Right Reserved